It’s what you say… and it’s subtle

I’m going to share something with you today that has nothing to do with a Friday Find. You’ll thank me for saying this, trust me. One of my mentors shared this with me and I’ve never forgotten this invaluable lesson. Here it is: When sending an email communication, don’t give people a direct order. Yes, you may be asking your direct report, colleague or contractor to do something for you – maybe in a timely manner.  Guess what? Asking someone to do something in this manner doesn’t come across positively. It’s a turn off. Great leaders, like my mentor, understand that you can be direct, and ask people to do something, without coming across negatively. It’s a very subtle thing but highly impactful. Here’s an example of what I mean: Please send me that file before lunch today vs. It would be great if you could send me that file before lunch today Can you feel the difference? Amazing leaders ask for things this way. There’s no need to be a bossy boots in order to get your message across to others. The second sentence is authoritative, assertive and direct but doesn’t have the same negative vibe that the first sentence does. Get it? (from: writingourselveswhole.org) Two things to remember: It’s not just what you say but how you say it.  This is especially when it comes to written communication where tone is hard to interpret. People always want to do a good job. Ask them nicely – and directly – for what you need or want from them. You’ll build a much stronger coalition if you’re not perceived as a bossy person. Put this into practice right away. You’ll be better off for it. Happy Friday!

Always be ready.

This past week, I had quite a few conversations about being ready and open to new career and life opportunities.  Here’s my quick tip that came out of each of my conversations with clients and new acquaintances: Always be ready. You never know where the next opportunity will come from to further yourself personally and/or professionally. Here’s a story for you… an awesome one. (photo from: http://www.frenchalpineretreat.com/) A couple of years ago, my husband and I made a long weekend for ourselves and went skiing in the Rockies. During one of our days on the hill, we found ourselves on the chairlift with a gentleman we didn’t know. No problem. We got chatting and found out he had just started a business after working in the oil and gas industry (not sure exactly what specialized area he was in) for over 20 years.  We asked more questions to find out what business had recently launched as well as how things were going.  He seemed very willing to share his story. You know what he did while we were on the chairlift? He unzipped his front pocket, pulled out his business card and handed it to us. On the chairlift. Nuts right? This man was ready to do business on the chairlift… in -20 degrees (C)… at a ski resort! Here’s the lesson.  Always be ready.  This man didn’t know who he would encounter during a leisurely ski weekend away.  He did know, however, that if an opportunity presented itself, he would be ready to act. Think about that one. Then act on it.

Wrap that hair around your finger = ditzyville

Whoa! Sorry about my busy schedule. I’m back in blogging action. Sooo… what words come to mind when you see someone doing this? (photo from: lastforypercent.com) When interacting with a potential client, colleague, senior leader or new acquaintance, we all want to put forward our best self.  It’s a pretty normal thing. We all have bad habits that we just don’t want out there.  Twirling your hair is, without a doubt, one of them.  When I see others doing this, it makes them look ditzy and silly.  They likely aren’t ditzy or silly but right away, this is the impression that is being formed.  It is fair? No. Does it happen… all the time? Yes. Say what? Guess what? I’m a major hair twirler. It’s a habit – a bad one – I’ve had since I was a kid.  Over the last 5-7 years or so, I’ve taken very deliberate and purposeful steps to stop doing this in any in of professional setting.  I, like many others who are hair twirlers, am not ditzy or silly.  Why would I want even a single person thinking that about me? I don’t. Here’s what I do to kick this habit: Each and every time I present myself, in a professional capacity, I remember that what I say and do is a complete reflection of everything I stand for – whether I intend it to or not. I often remind myself that I am not ditzy or silly. I then ask myself “why would I want to look that way?” I do allow myself to indulge in a good hair twirl when I’m not out in public. When I slip up, I acknowledge it and move on.  I’m not perfect. I do work hard at breaking bad habits though. You can break this habit too. And you should. You never know when sill habits could limit a potential opportunity on the horizon.